Women power in Togo - Part 1

"Alimony should be paid by the woman", she said. I said, "Why?". "That way the woman retains control, even after the divorce", she said. I was in Lomé, capital of Togo in West Africa talking to a matriarchal woman.

I was in Hillacondji crossing the border from Benin to Togo. The officers on the Beninese side of the border were relaxed. He punched my passport lazily and gave it back to me. The women officers on the Togolese side were business like, observant and very smartly uniformed. People were deferential to them. I was sitting in front of a young Togolese immigration officer and she asked me, "What is the purpose of your visit?". I replied, "Tourism". She then asked me, "What is your profession?". I replied, "Engineer". 

The road on the Togolese side was better, even though Benin was the richer country. I anticipated road blocks and checkpoints on the road from the border to Lomé, the capital of Togo. I had to get through five checkpoints before reaching Lomé. At each checkpoint I had to get out of the vehicle and I was questioned by the women officers. It took time at each checkpoint. The young women officers were quite curt, brusque and impatient with me. They wanted to know the purpose of my trip and my profession. They also went through each page of my passport.

I was sitting in a small semi open-air restaurant in Lomé. There was a young woman sitting on a sofa. There was a young man doing the serving, cleaning and also doing the cooking. The woman was supervising him. She had a brass hand bell with a wooden handle. She would ring it and the man would go running over to her. I had been travelling through West Africa eating African food and now wanted some comfort food. The man came over to me to take my order and I asked, "Do you have pizza?". He said "Yes" and then in perfect English explained the different types of pizzas that they had. "How do you know English?", I asked. "I am from Ghana. She chose me as her husband. I moved over here", he said. "She is your wife!", I exclaimed. He said, "Yes". 

The Akan are a matrilocal tribe. When the man gets married, he moves over to the home of his mother-in-law where the wife resides. They also change their surnames to that of their wives. "So, you have changed your surname to hers?", I asked. He said, "Yes, I have my wife's surname now". A large tour bus came over and stopped. A lot of Asians got out. I said, "Chinese?". He said, "Yes. But they never come here. They go to the Chinese owned restaurant next door and eat Chinese food". The woman, Amelie, came over to my table and joined me. "He is spending too much time in this table because you speak English", she said. "So, you own the restaurant?", I asked. Amelie said, "Yes". 

The Akan tribe is matrilineal. "Only the woman can own property, assets and money. Men are not allowed to own anything", she said. "Doesn't he earn any money?", I asked. Amelie said, "I give him a weekly allowance but he has to account for it". Amelie had the bell with her and she rang it. He came over and she said, "Get him a bottle of Awooyo beer". "It's nice", she told me. "So, you went across to Ghana and chose him?", I asked. Amelie said, "Yes. I wanted an English-speaking boy, so I went to his village". "Why did you choose him?", I asked. She said, "I saw three boys. But his cooking was the best!". "Who does all the housework in India?", she asked. I said, "Most middle-class Indians have maids who do all the work. Otherwise it is women who do the housework". She pointed to her husband and said, "He does all the housework".

"You should follow the same system in India", Amelie declared. "Women are not respected in India. Our system will put an end to the dowry problem in India", she said. Her husband brought the pizza to the table. She looked at me and asked me, "Are you married?". I said, "No. I am divorced". "In India, who pays the alimony?", she asked. I said, "The man pays the alimony. But I don't have to". She shook her head and said, "The woman should pay the alimony. That's how it is in our tribe". I said, "Why?". "That way the woman retains control over her husband, even after the divorce", she said.

Togo is known for its unique wax-print fabric. My friend, Priya, a sewist, had asked me to buy some. I bought some fabric and Priya made some lovely pillow covers for me, upon my return to India. After buying the fabric, I got into a minibus and was going to the Akodésséwa Fetish Market, the world's largest Voodoo market. The bus was full. In case a woman got on, a man would get up and give her a seat. A young woman in a pantsuit, Annabelle, got on, came to my seat and gestured to me to get up. I got up and she sat down. I proceeded to continue standing but the ticket conductor pointed to the floor and said, "Sit". Standing was not allowed on the buses. I sat down on the floor like all others. Annabelle looked down at me and asked, "Anglais?". I said, "Yes". After a few minutes, she tapped me on the shoulder and asked, "Are you a maid?". Several Indian, Pakistani and Bangladeshi men come to Togo on tourist visas and work illegally as domestic servants, called maids in Togo. The salary of a maid in Togo is twice that of India. I said, "No. I am not a maid".

Annabelle looked at me and contemplated me. "My mother is looking for a maid", she said. I repeated, "No. I am not a maid". "Why are you travelling alone, if you are not a maid? I don't believe you. What is the name and phone number of the hotel you are staying at?", she asked. I did not want to give her my hotel details. Annabelle said, "Show me your passport or I will call the immigration police and tell them you are looking for a job". It was getting scary. Just a few days ago, two Indians had been arrested for working on tourist visas. My greatest worry as a solo traveller was getting arrested in a foreign land. I decided to show her my passport. She went through my passport slowly. She suddenly got up with her bag and got down from the bus. Annabelle still had my passport. 

 Just two days ago, I was at the Hillacondji border, entering Togo from Benin. After the immigration officer had stamped my passport with the visa and entry stamp, she handed the passport not to me, but to a young woman not wearing a uniform. She was wearing an 'Immigration Police' cloth badge cuffed to her left upper arm. The immigration officer said, "She is an intern for the immigration police. She will interview you". The young woman took me to a room with a curtain. She asked me to sit down on a stool by a table. She then sat down at the edge of the table with one foot on the floor and the other foot swinging in the air, in front of my face. She spent some time going through my passport. She then asked me, "What is the purpose of your trip?". I said, "Tourism".

"Why are you travelling alone? I have not seen a single Indian tourist travelling alone to Togo", she said. "I normally travel alone. I am divorced", I said. "Are you carrying drugs to Ghana?", she asked. I said, "No". "Are you planning to become a maid?", she asked.  I said, "I am not a maid. I am not going to Ghana. I am going to Côte d'Ivoire. I have a visa for Côte d'Ivoire". "Let me check your bag", she said. She then went through my bag and found my Cote d'Ivoire visa. She said, "You don't have to use the visa. You can tear it and throw it.". She then found my "Lonely Planet West Africa" guide book and declared, "Maids don't carry Lonely Planet books". She then said, "I am going to let you go. But if I catch you working as a maid, I will arrest you".

Within two days, I was being interrogated by another young woman, this time in a minibus. Annabelle had gotten out of the bus. I got up and rushed behind her. I said, "Give me my passport". She ignored me and continued walking. She walked into a park and sat down on a park bench. She said, "I am going to call my mother. She is a police officer". I stood in front of her and said, "I will give you my hotel name and phone number". She called up the hotel with her phone. Nobody answered. She said, "It doesn't matter. I don't have the passport. I left it on the bus". 

I screamed out, "What!". There is no Indian embassy in Togo. How was I going to get a replacement passport? How was I going to get out of Togo? I have read horror stories about Indians being stuck in middle-eastern countries without a passport. She called up the hotel again and spoke to the hotel owner this time. She said, "I have your passport. I will give it to you". She then said, "I am letting you escape. That hotel was a cheap hotel. I think you are a maid". She said, "I should have turned you over to the immigration police. I would have got a reward of 750,000 Francs ($1500)". Annabelle gave me my passport and walked away.  

I travel the road less travelled, but the road less travelled can lead to trouble for the solo traveller with an Indian passport.

Have you ever lost your passport in a country that does not have your country's embassy? If so, how did you get out?

This is the end of Part 1 of "Women power in Togo". Part 2 shall follow.

Copyright © 2020 by Shyam Kodavarthi. All rights reserved.